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ARCHIVED ENTRIES FOR
JANUARY 2005 |
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Kathryn: The Poisonwood Bible
I'm currently reading a manuscript for a friend
of mine who wrote a nonfiction account of her experiences doing
sociological field work in Africa in the 80s and again in the 00s
(the oughts? what did everyone decide to call this decade anyhow?).
I asked her opinion of The Poisonwood Bible. She had
many of the same objections I did in terms of the unevenness of
narrative voice and added that she found Kingsolver's account of
many of the creatures, landscapes, and phenomena of Africa
unconvincing. My friend did, though, say that Kingsolver's account
of the history of what is now the Democratic Republic of the Congo
seemed pretty square on.
So, I guess my final take, after a few weeks to
mull the question, is that if you have time for a long, engaging
work of historical fiction that is unlikely to take a place among
the immortal lights of great prose but from which you might learn
some history you didn't know before, go for it. Read this instead of
watching The Apprentice, by all means.
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Patrick: Lagniappe
“Well said, my boy,” cried I, “and what subject
did you treat upon? I hope you did not pass over the importance of
Hierarchical monogamy. But I interrupt, go on; you published your
paradoxes; well, and what did the learned world say to your
paradoxes?
“Sir,” replied my son, “the learned world said nothing to my
paradoxes; nothing at all, Sir. Every man of them was employed in
praising his friends and himself, or condemning his enemies; and
unfortunately, as I had neither, I suffered the cruellest
mortification, neglect.”
--The Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith
The Master and the Difference Between an
Inductive and Deductive Writer
Putting on my snug W. H. Auden hat, let me expound upon my own
binary category: deductive and inductive writers. What I mean
by this distinction is that certain—indeed most—writers may be
described as inductive, meaning, using Flaubert as the great
exemplar, they show you what’s going on instead of tell you about
it. Tom Wolfe discusses an example of Flaubert’s in I Am
Charlotte Simmons where Madame Bovary begins from the
second person in a schoolroom so that the reader is put into the
seats with the other students when they see for the first time one
of the protagonists of the book. Flaubert doesn’t tell you
what this protagonist is like. Rather, he lets the students
show you through their observations. That’s an inductive
writer—he sees a particular object and describes it in all of its
glorious, quirky eccentricity. Of course, the apotheosis of
this style is Charles Dickens and his rumble-tumble of odd-ball
characters which spill out willy-nilly at the reader’s feet: Mrs.
Sarah Gamp, Wilkins Micawber, Seth Pecksniff, Abel Magwitch,
‘Fascination’ Fledgeby, Tim Cratchit, Josiah Bounderby, Bradley
Headstone, etc.
Like most inductive writers, again, with the possible exception of
Flaubert, Dickens will from time to time preach through his
characters and tell the reader what they are meant to represent.
A good example is Mrs. Jellyby from Bleak House who is
concerned with African philanthropy but could care less about the
degradation of her own household. Dickens is explicit in
condemning this “telescopic” attitude that is concerned with objects
from afar but cannot be bothered about problems at home—a recent
example may include a person who participates in the outpouring of
charity for the victims of the Indonesian Tsunami but turns away the
beggar at his own doorstep. The secret to the inductive style
is that its primary concern is to show the world in its infinite
variety and to keep its exposition to a minimum.
The deductive style’s secret, on the other hand, is to generalize
from the particular and to draw lessons from it, but in a way that
is both lively and not sententious. In my view, although the
inductive method is very difficult and requires great imagination,
verve, and observation, the deductive method is even harder in that
the intellectual capacity demanded seems almost superhuman. Think
about it: The author sets as his goal no less than the
explanation of human nature from a few paltry ciphers moved about a
chessboard at the author’s direction. Very few can pull this
off. In modern times, one might include Muriel Spark and, of
course, Aldous Huxley (he has a character in Point-Counterpoint,
based on himself, who can’t help but draw general inferences from
any phenomena he happens to observe). Earlier examples, I
would argue, include Edith Wharton and her friend and apotheosis of
this style, Henry James.
The material Henry James works with, at first glance, seems most
unpromising for a dramatic novel—which might explain his lack of
popularity. He does not describe the world in its infinite
variety and creativity like a Dickens. Instead, like a careful
chemist slowly measuring out each ingredient for his mixture, James
brings together a few unstable elemental characters, places them in
a controlled environment, and then demonstrates how they will react
based on the general laws of human nature. This exactitude and
control is incredibly difficult. And, like any scientific
experiment, can easily bore the observer. Here is an example
from early on in Washington Square:
“Is it possible that this magnificent person is my child?” he said.
You would have surprised him if you had told him so; but it is a
literal fact that he almost never addressed his daughter save in the
ironical form. Whenever he addressed her he gave her pleasure; but
she had to cut her pleasure out of the piece as it were. There were
portions left over, light remnants and snippets of irony, which she
never knew what to do with, which seemed too delicate for her own
use; and yet Catherine, lamenting the limitations of her
understanding, felt that they were too valuable to waste, and had a
belief that if they passed over her head they yet contributed to the
general sum of human wisdom.
Note here how from one sentence of dialogue, James draws out several
lessons he will further expound upon throughout the book—the
father’s unknowing irony and denigration of his daughter; the
daughter’s extreme sensitivity and desire to please her father, and
the difference in intelligence between the two. These “elements” as
it were, when combined, will lead to an adverse chemical reaction
that will destroy the happiness of both. From this, further
lessons may be deduced. Note also, the artistry “clothing”
these observations in a pleasing simile that adds force to the
deductions and lessons the pain of sententious banality.
That’s the giant reef that a deductive imitator must steer clear
from: the almost endless shoals of sententious banality.
To copy James is to run the grave risk of grounding one’s skiff on
such coral, never again to sail into open waters but to constantly
bump up into their knobby embrace. This is one of Colm
Toibin’s defects in The Master. He thought it clever to
write his novel about the late Henry James in the style of the late
Henry James. A clever conceit, yes, but James and his style is
much more than merely clever. So, instead of a pleasing
snippet as we saw with Washington Square we instead get this
from early on in Toibin’s book:
He had never loved the intrigue. Yet he liked knowing secrets,
because not to know was to miss almost everything. He himself
learned never to disclose anything, and never even to acknowledge
the moment when some new information was imparted, to act as though
a mere pleasantry had been exchanged. The men and women in the
salons of literary Paris moved like players in a game of knowing and
not knowing, pretense and disguise. He had learned everything from
them.
This, too, is an important passage for Toibin in that it describes,
for him, a fundamental characteristic of James’s personality which
also causes much grief for James and those around him. But
note how flat it lies upon the page! There is no artistry, no
clever simile, to liven up the didacticism—just one bland
declamation moving in lockstep after another. And this is a
short passage. Imagine a whole book of such grim-faced sententious
sentences, always staring at the neck of the one in front, never
looking down, as they trample upon the world’s variety and richness.
That’s The Master for you. Enjoy.
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Patrick: Lagniappe
Finding that there was no great degree of
gentility affixed to the character of an usher, I resolved to accept
his proposal; and having the highest respect for literature, I
hailed the antiqua mater of Grubstreet with reverence.
I thought it my glory to pursue a track which Dryden and Otway trod
before me. In fact, I considered the goddess of this religion as the
parent of excellence; and however an intercourse with the world
might give us good sense, the poverty she granted was the nurse of
genius! Big with these reflections I sate down, and finding that the
best things remained to be said on the wrong side, I resolved to
write a book that should be wholly new. I therefore drest up three
paradoxes with some ingenuity. They were false, indeed, but they
were new. The jewels of truth have been so often imported by others
that nothing was left for me to import but some splendid things that
at a distance looked every bit as well.
--The Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith
The Master and the Difference Between a “Fill in the Blank” Writer
and a Writer Who Happens to Be “Fill in the Blank.”
I just finished Colm Toibin’s The Master, which I have
approached with trepidation for two reasons: (1) It was praised to
the rafters—but there are certain non-literary reasons why this
might be so; and (2) given that the book is about Henry James—a
writer—it may suffer from Port-Mungoitis (the lazy author’s disease
of writing about what every halfway decent writer knows, that is,
the craft of writing, which is right up there as a reader pleaser
with writing about the craft of shoemaking). It looks like I
was right on both counts. First, Toibin just happens to be
homosexual. Plenty of author—great authors—are homosexual and,
indeed, that sensibility helpfully illuminates their works. I am
thinking here of the sublime Alexandrian poet, Cavafy, who is
admired for viewing life from an angle. Certainly, some of his
poems concern the masculine delights of the Alexandrian night-life,
but they concern all sorts of other matters, too. Seen from
the stance of a stranger, Cavafy is able to step outside of his skin
and observe both himself and his surroundings with a cold, objective
eye. Yes, he was homosexual. But I would not call him a
homosexual writer. The same is true for Gore Vidal and Truman
Capote; their canvases are much larger than their mere sexual
personae.
Toibin, alas, appears to be a homosexual writer. At first, I
had a hard time divining the structure of the book. Certainly,
the raw material of James’s life is not promising—he travels a lot,
but spends most of his time thinking about his stories and then
writing them down (or dictating them). On its face, this rocky
soil does not strike one as exciting dramatic ground for fiction
(hence, the Port-Mungoitis). But, even more perversely, the
incidents Toibin chooses to dramatize seem incidental and trivial.
A whole chapter—and these ain’t short ones, neither—is taken up by
James struggling with his decision to fire his servants for
dereliction and drunkenness. Others concern his visits to
stuffy Irish manors or shopping sprees to stock his own house.
Pages and pages of this glaze the reader’s eye. Why?
It turns out that Toibin is actually an old-fashioned moralist along
the lines of Horatio Alger. His message is similar to the one
from Edith Wharton’s Age of Innocence (by the bye, Wharton, a
close friend of James, is not even mentioned in The Master).
In Age of Innocence, the protagonist, Newland Archer, becomes
involved with the exotic Countess Olenska, but his wife forces him
to renounce her, which results in Archer losing any chance at
profound satisfaction and happiness in life. The title is an
ironic one in that everyone associated with Archer assumes he is
having an affair, although he has not consummated one
physically—only (only, shows how jaded and diminished we are)
emotionally. Well, Toibin basically retells this tale through the
life of James so that by the end of the book the reader winces every
time that a young man is introduced into the narrative because
sooner or later James will either imagine him with his clothes off,
his clothes will actually come off, or James will hug him in some
kind of awkward embrace. Of course, James does not follow up
on any of his forbidden impulses (although everyone thinks he has).
Which explains most of the rest of the book: Because
James is repressed, he damages—consciously or not—many of those
around him. Mostly, it’s the women he has known that get the
sticky end of the wicket: They pine away for him and end
up either dying of some strange malady or throwing themselves from
the second floor of their Venetian apartments.
Holy leaping ladies, batman, cheap Freudianism
is slathered over the entire book like a thick layer of marmalade:
James is repressed; he has nightmares; he has been traumatized at
the age of one by one of his father’s hallucinations (shades of
recovered memory and Oprah, there); and he just can’t cause a scene.
Oh yes, there’s also a lot of “Guess Who” throughout the book
regarding which fictional character is actually based on some
true-life acquaintance of James’s—New Criticism please come back,
all is forgiven!
In Toibin’s defense, he deserves restrained praise for his
refinement to refrain from imagining that Henry James consummated
his sexual desires—but, on the other hand, he spends almost the
whole novel leaving no doubt that James was a repressed homosexual
(oh, and his sister, Alice, she was probably one, too). Such a
conceit, by this late date, is particularly tiresome in that every
famous figure is up for grabs in this area—indeed, there’s a new
book out arguing that Abraham Lincoln was homosexual.
Yawn. How can I say this nicely? Not only do such shenanigans
not epater le bourgeois, but they instead dormir le
bourgeois. Henry James was one of the first to be hauled
into the homosexual camp. At least Abe Lincoln is news to me.
If you’re going to be outrageous, then be outrageous—here’s a list
of other figures who should be enlisted: Hugh Hefner, Douglas
MacArthur, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Norman Mailer and John
Updike. The last two, by the bye, are a good segue for how
decent writers can go wrong when they have a monomaniacal fixation
on sexual matters.
Certainly, Mailer and Updike would be the first to defend their
robust heterosexuality. But do they have to go on about it to
such nauseating lengths in their books? It is a sense of
proportion, the artistry, that separates the sheep from the goats
with respect to great writers. Truman Capote, at least early
on, was almost preternaturally sensitive to the shape and tone of
each word, not just the sentence and paragraph structure, as
they worked together to form a coherent piece. Capote, in the
Paris Review, explained: “Writing has laws of perspective, of
light and shade, just as painting does or music.” Therefore, a
literary work “can be wrecked by a faulty rhythm in a
sentence—especially if it occurs toward the end—or a mistake in
paragraphing, even punctuation.” Now, I don’t think I would
quite go this far with Capote, who, to be fair, was talking about
the short story where such a mistake would be more noticeable than
in a long form like the novel. But his general point is well
taken. A great writer generally must have a fine sense of
balance, of tone, of proportion, just like a great musician or
painter.
Toibin, it seems to me, lacks this sense of proportion. Too
much of the book is taken up with matters that, although I am sure
are of great interest to Toibin, are not particularly interesting to
others—or to posterity. Do we really need scene after scene of
men silently making themselves available to James who ultimately
does nothing with the opportunity? Or, for that matter, a long
diversion on the trials and tribulations of Oscar Wilde? This is
very old ground indeed to be plowing over at this late date.
Again, a mention of these matters here and there would be fine.
But to dwell upon them mars the form of the book and suggests a
certain laziness—or monomania—on the part of the writer.
This sense of laziness brings me to the second problem with this
book—the subject. Henry James is a writer’s writer with very
little dramatic flair to his life. Indeed, many writers have this
profile given that they spend most of their time, not surprisingly,
writing (such as V. S. Pritchett). This does not make for
enterprising novelistic material. One would think Henry James
would be particularly daunting in this respect. So why do it?
Laziness. It’s easy and will get cheap good reviews because
everyone idolizes Henry James. We know it’s lazy because
another second-tier writer, David Lodge, stumbled upon the same idea
(Author, Author) and his fictional account of James during
the same period of his life came out just a couple months after
Toibin’s. That’s not a coincidence. It’s a sign that writers
now-a-days of a certain caliber are informed by the same
sensibilities so that the same ideas come to them at about the same
time—the zeitgeist effect, as it were (sort of like Hollywood
producing two big-budget insect cartoons or volcano pictures at the
same time). Plus, writing on James is great because he spent
most of his time writing so the author can dilate on those matters
without having to do any real background research besides reading
Leon Edel’s multi-volume biography of James (which Toibin admits to
in acknowledgements—along with a smattering of a few other works on
the James family). And if one throws in the frisson of
homosexuality, all the better. But it makes for a dull reading
experience.
So, in the interest of further dull reading experiences along these
lines, let me suggest a couple of other lazy writer projects sure to
gain favorable reviews. How about a fictional treatment of the life
of Proust? Sure, he lived in a cork-lined room most of the
time, but that is actually a plus since practically no research
needs to be done about him. Further, not only was he
homosexual but he was also sickly and asthmatic so you have that
whole disease and decline angle to cover and you can use it as a
metaphor for the fin-de-siecle Parisian society that suffused
Proust. I even have a title for you: “Lost Paradise” (from the
famous line in Remembrance of Things Past—yes, I know the
more modern, literal title is In Search of Lost Time, but,
like a lot of other “improvements,” it seems to be mostly concerned
with sapping all the color and literary qualities from an object
under scrutiny; please, it’s enough to give one ennui, not to
mention accidie indigestion). Of course, “Lost Paradise” would
be used in the ironic sense—is there any other serious literary
sensibility nowadays?—to refer to this decline in society.
Which brings me to the next idea for a novel.
The other obvious author to fictionalize is Franz Kafka. I
don’t have a snappy title for you there—how about “Castle Kafka” or
“Kafkaphosis.” Given that Kafka’s sensibility concerned the
absurd, any mistakes in the book can be written off as a hat-tip to
Kafka’s style. Indeed, one could throw in incongruous
incidents and people so as to heighten the effect. I can’t give you
a much lazier project than that. Indeed, why not have Kafka
going on an imaginary trip to America when he was very young, and
serving as the grist for his last, unfinished novel, Amerika?
Just like with Proust, one could work in the theme of disease and
decline, but, as an added bonus, relate it to America itself—given
that France is a bit passe nowadays, this might be the more
fruitful ground to cover (plus, don’t forget the great book
reviews). There you go, two free gifts for mediocre novel
ideas in just one post.
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Patrick: Lagniappe
“Guilt and shame, says the allegory, were at
first companions, and in the beginning of their journey inseparably
kept together. But their union was soon found to be disagreeable and
inconvenient to both; guilt gave shame frequent uneasiness, and
shame often betrayed the secret conspiracies of guilt. After long
disagreement, therefore, they at length consented to part for ever.
Guilt boldly walked forward alone to overtake fate, that went before
in the shape of an executioner; but shame being naturally timorous,
returned back to keep company with virtue, which, in the beginning
of the journey, they had left behind. Thus, my children, after men
have travelled through a few stages in vice, they no longer continue
to have shame at doing evil, and shame attends only upon their
virtues.
--The Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith
I Am Charlotte Simmons: Tom Wolfe’s Tips on Manliness
Howdy folks, step on up here—hay-er—and let me tell you ‘bout
this wonderful—wunnerfal—new elixer, my handy dandy
mascoolinity fixer upper, the most rooten-tootenest best darn juicer
for that flabby manby. Let me show you good folks how this
little manual will put hair on your chests. First off, it’s
676 pages, so just lifting it up and down will work out your
triceps, biceps, delts, smelts, abs, crabs and
otorhinolaryngological caverns. And inside this portable free
weight you’ll find all the tips you need to go from goat to gorilla—gore-iller—from
a lamb to a lion—line. Hey, boy, move back from the
stage there, you’re bothering me. Okay, folks, let me just
titillate and tantalize you with a few bon mots—bon mots—that
will literally transform you into a heaving, hollering go-go jo-jo,
an authentic, beer bellied, scritchy bearded mountain man:
--Daddy was a product of Carolina mountain country, with the
strengths and shortcomings of his forebears. He had been
raised never to show emotion and, as a result, was far less likely
than ordinary men to give way to emotion in a crisis. But
also, as a result, he was instinctively reluctant to put a feeling
into words, and the stronger the feeling, the more he fought
spelling it out. When Charlotte was a little girl, he was able
to express his lover for her by holding her in his arms and being
tender and cooing to her with baby talk. But by now he
couldn’t bring himself to utter the words necessary to tell a big
girl that he loved her. The long stares he sometimes gave
her—she couldn’t tell whether it was lover or wonder at what an
inexplicable prodigy his daughter had become.
--Daddy’s expression was almost blank, utterly cold, unblinking, no
longer attached to the variables of reason. His eyes were
locked on Channing’s. It was the face of someone out on an
edge where there could be only one answer to any argument: physical
assault.
--“There’s gon’ be folks here wanting you do thangs you don’t hold
with,” said Momma. “So you jues’ remember you come from
mountain folks on your daddy’s side and my side, the Simmons and the
Pettigrews, and mountain folks got their faults, but letting
theirselves git pushed into doing thangs iddn’ one uv’m. We
know how to be real stubborn. Can’t nobody make us do a thang once
we git hard set against it. And if anybody don’t like that,
you don’t have to explain a thang to’m.
--He was the same as he had been all day, lying on his side in bed,
eyes wide open, staring fixedly at the wall opposite like a crazy
person, seemingly out of touch with reality—but if she so much as
moved a muscle, he came to life with fearful, anxious questions,
beseechings, and guilt triggers, which he pulled expertly. She
had to go through a negotiation, make a hundred promises, and
provide an itinerary just to go out the door and to the bathroom in
the hall. When he himself went, he shuffled out into the hall with
that filthy, insane, flesh-crawling green blanket around him, head
bent over like an old man’s—and insisted she stand in the hall until
he was through.
Ooops, how did that last one get in there? Well, you get the
gist and there’s plenty more grist for the he-mill where that come
from. I said, boy, you quit crowdin’ me and stop fingering the
white suit, it smudges easily. Now shoo, you’ pest—will I have
to cane you? Don’t make me take off my fedora and spats. It
won’t be pretty—praittie.
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Patrick: Lagniappe
“Well, my girls, how have you sped? Tell me,
Livy, has the fortune-teller given thee a pennyworth?”—“I protest,
pappa,” says the girl, with a serious face, “I believe she deals
with some body that’s not right; for she positively declared that I
am to be married to a great ‘Squire in less than a
twelvemonth!”—“Well, now, Sophy, my child,” said I, “and what sort
of a husband are you to have?” “Sir,” replied she, “I am to have a
Lord soon after my sister has been married to the ‘Squire.”—“How,”
cried I, “is that all you are to have for your two shillings! Only a
Lord and a ‘Squire for two shillings! You fools, I could have
promised you a Prince and a Nabob for half the money.”
--The Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith
NYTBR: Under the Influence (Literary
Influences on Writers Under 40)
The NYTBR has an
article today updating a piece it did 20 years ago where it
asked a group of writers 40-years old or under to describe their
literary influences. Curiously, the piece does not describe
who comprised the original group--probably because they have fallen
off the map. The group interviewed today includes the
following titans: Susan Choi, Jonathan Safran Foer, Nell
Freudenberger, Jhumpa Lahiri, JT Leroy, Maile Meloy, Gary Shteyngart,
Zadie Smith, and Colson Whitebread. With the exception of
Zadie Smith--and possibly Susan Choi--the only things these writers
appear to have in common besides their rapidly fading youth is some
kind of obscure connection to the NYTBR. Zadie Smith, author
of White Teeth, is the only true heavy weight that pops up
here; and, not surprisingly, her squib is the most impressive
(although, probably, to the eye of a jaded creative-writing-school
drudge, the most banal). Smith, apologizing, owns up to a
traditional grounding in the British classic writers, starting with
C. S. Lewis, of all people, but then encompassing the Brontes,
Hardy, Thackeray, Trollope and Dickens--not a bad lineup for a
fledgling writer. Her latest faves are David Foster Wallace,
Greene and James. Given that these are among my favorite
authors, I think Smith is the most enlightened of the bunch.
The remainder of the mild bunch, though, do
name a few interesting influences. Nell Freudenberger loves
Peter Carey. I do, too, as one can see from my picks, so I
obviously consider Nell a promising writer to keep an eye on.
Jhumpa Lahiri is in awe of William Trevor. So am I--so she
clearly has great things in store for her readers. Most of the
rest, however, name either creative-writing school darlings--Susan
Choi's pick is Donald Barthelme (a crank-writer, in the DFW
vernacular, if ever there was one whose reputation is going from dim
to dimmer) and Maile Meloy picks Geoffrey Wolfe because, surprise,
he's her creative-writing instructor (Oh, the humanity!) or obscure
cult objects--JT Leroy names fellow West Virginian, Breece D'J
Pancake and Colson Whitehead goes with Jean Toomer. These
sorts of choices are illuminating in one respect; they point out why
there are not very many well-known under-40 writers: such
budding novelists are spending way too much time trapped in
creative-writing school chasing down the latest avant-garde trolley
as its pulling out of the station. Thank goodness Evelyn
Waugh, a famed novelists in his mid-twenties, never bothered with
such guff. Take note young writers--you have nothing to lose
but your T.A. classes and student loans!
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Patrick: Lagniappe
“Right, Frank,” cried the ‘Squire; “for may
this glass suffocate me but a fine girl is worth all the priestcraft
in the nation. For what are tythes and tricks but an imposition, all
a confounded imposture, and I can prove it.”—“I wish you would,”
cried my son Moses, “and I think,” continued he, “that I should be
able to combat in the opposition.”—“Very well, Sir,” cried the
‘Squire, who immediately smoaked [N.B.: slang—“to make fun of”] him,
and winking on the rest of the company to prepare us for the sport,
“if you are for a cool argument upon that subject, I am ready to
accept the challenge. And first, whether are you for managing it
analogically or dialogically?” “I am for managing it rationally,”
cried Moses, quite happy at being permitted to dispute. “Good
again,” cried the ‘Squire; “and firstly, of the first. I hope you’ll
not deny that whatever is, is. If you don’t grant me that, I can go
no further.”—“Why,” returned Moses, “I think I may grant that, and
make the best of it.”—“I hope too,” returned the other, “you’ll
grant that a part is less than the whole.”—“I grant that too,” cried
Moses, “it is but just and reasonable.”—“I hope,” cried the ‘Squire,
“you will not deny that the two angles of a triangle are equal to
two right ones.”—“Nothing can be plainer,” returned t’other, and
looked round with his usual importance. –“Very well,” cried the
‘Squire, speaking very quick, “the premises being thus settled, I
proceed to observe, that the concatenation of self existences,
proceeding in a reciprocal duplicate ratio, naturally produce a
problematical dialogism, which in some measure proves that the
essence of spirituality may be referred to the second
predicable.”—“Hold, hold,” cried the other, “I deny that. do you
think I can thus tamely submit to such heterodox doctrines?”—“What!”
replied the ‘Squire, as if in a passion, “not submit! Answer me one
plain question: Do you think Aristotle right when he says that
relatives are related?” “Undoubtedly,” replied the other. –“If so
then,” cried the ‘Squire, “answer me directly to what I propose:
Whether do you judge the analytical investigation of the first part
of my enthymem deficient secundum quoad, or quoad minus, and give me
your reasons too, give me your reasons, I say, directly.”—“I
protest,” cried Moses, “I don’t rightly comprehend the force of your
reasoning; but if it be reduced to one simple proposition, I fancy
it may then have an answer.”—“O, Sir,” cried the ‘Squire, “I am your
most humble servant, I find you want me to furnish you with argument
and intellects both. No, Sir, there I protest you are too hard for
me.”
--The Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith
[N.B.: just substitute “criticism” for “theology” above and see how
little has changed. Also, I like this idiosyncratic way of
annotating dialogue. Note that by compressing it all into one
paragraph, instead of having a new paragraph for each time a
different person is speaking, the reader is pulled along with the
story very quickly in an uninterrupted rhythm, just like poor Moses.
Also, it makes effective use of the long dash as a partial
substitute for the paragraph break—as opposed to its use in Port
Mungo as I discussed a couple of weeks ago.]
Elegy for the Cultured Proletariat
An interesting
article in the City Journal talks about the history of the
cultured proletariat in the late Nineteenth through Mid-Twentieth
Centuries and mourns its decline. Although not discussed, what
great invention came along around 1950 or so? Was it the
washing machine, the hair dryer, the vacuum cleaner? Hmmm, let me
puzzle on that a bit. Prior to the advent of this great
invention, even a laborer who might work a 75-hour week, would still
have time to read Pope, Goldsmith (as regular readers know, a
current interest of mine), Homer and the perennial favorite,
Shakespeare. The article ends on a hopeful note that perhaps
some variation of the “Great Books” courses from decades back might
serve to revive inner-city high schools. Again, the
mid-century invention casts its baleful shadow over this optimist
conclusion.
The article also discusses a perennial stumbling block to such
endeavors: the condescension of the educated classes that
pre-supposes the need to give the workers watered-down intellectual
entertainment. The article has a scathing critique of the
snobbish presumptions of these classes, E. M. Forster comes in for
some withering criticism here, in supposing that your average skivvy
or collier could not be bothered to pick up the classics. An
amusing anecdote is retailed about a near riot occurring in one
collier town when a troupe of strolling players attempted to
substitute Othello with a modern comedy. The same
condescension occurs today with teachers believing that works served
up to “at risk” students need to be “relevant” and relate
immediately to their own situations by describing characters who are
similarly situated—in other words, the works need to be mediocre
slice-of-life books dealing with contemporary problems and settings.
Yawn. And that’s the response of the students, too.
Students do not want familiarity. They
want strangeness. Weirdness. And there’s no more uncanny
author than Shakespeare. As I discussed with my posts on
Twelfth Night, even his frothiest comedies have a an under-layer
of darkness that makes for a satisfying reading experience.
Also, as pointed out in the article, having “at risk” students read
Shakespeare is a compliment to their intellectual abilities—and they
know it. What would you think shows more respect—assigning
Macbeth (a good bloody tale, if ever there was one) or The Da
Vinci Code?
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Patrick: Lagniappe
But a cool biographer, unbiased by resentment
or regard, will probably find nothing in the man either truly great
or strongly vicious. His virtues were all amiable, and more adapted
to procure friends than admirers; they were more capable of raising
love than esteem. He was naturally endued with good sense; but by
having been long accustomed to pursue trifles, his mind shrunk to
the size of the little objects on which it was employed. His
generosity was boundless, because his tenderness and his vanity were
in equal proportion, the one impelling him to relieve misery, and
the other to make his benefactions known. In all his actions,
however virtuous, he was guided by sensation and not by reason, so
that the uppermost passion was ever sure to prevail. His being
constantly in company had made him an easy tho’ not a polite
companion.
--The Life of Nash by Oliver Goldsmith
Elegy for the Book-of-the-Month Club
Here’s a fascinating
story from yesterday’s NYT about the demise of the mai- order
book club following the wide-spread use of the internet and the
dominance of such sites as Amazon.com. The historical background
discussion of the book-club marketing device I found particularly
interesting. For decades it served as a lowly cultural ambassador to
the small rural villages when book stores in such areas were
practically nonexistent (certainly, no longer the case, as any
visitor to Larry McMurtry’s
wonderland in Archer, Texas can attest). Now, of course, every
one, no matter how cut off from “civilization” they might be, can
reach out via the internet and take virtual tours of all of the
world’s great art museums or read the classics for free from such
sites as bartleby.com (indeed, this site includes many unjustly
forgotten Victorian-era works; as you might guess, it only includes
works that have fallen outside the copyright laws, which roughly
speaking, is the period prior to the 1920s and Disney’s Steamboat
Willy, the first appearance of Mickey Mouse (to have our
cultural heritage held hostage by a mangy rat, how
embarrassing—luckily, in Europe, copyright lasts for only 50 years
of so, which means all those great jazz records are falling out of
copyright over there)). The mail-order book clubs are trying
to halt their slide into irrelevancy by mimicking the web sites.
This seems to me a short-cut to their inevitable exit. Although they
might be marginal now, such book clubs served an important cultural
role in the Twentieth Century. Indeed, many would argue that
Victor Gollancz
and his Left Book Club played an important role in shaping British
intellectual life in the mid-Twentieth Century (notoriously, it was
Gollancz who
censored several of George Orwell’s books such as The Road to
Wigan Pier and Animal Farm—over his objections—prior to
their publication).
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Patrick: Lagniappe
[I]t seldom happens that old men allure, at
least by novelty; age that shrivels the body contracts the
understanding; instead of exploring new regions, they rest satisfied
in the old and walk round the circle of their former discoveries.
His manner of telling a story, however, was not displeasing, but few
of those he told are worth transcribing. Indeed it is the manner
which places the whole difference between the wit of the vulgar and
of those who assume the name of the polite; one has in general as
much good sense as the other; a story transcribed from the one will
be as entertaining as that copied from the other, but in
conversation the manner will give charms even to stupidity.
--The Life of Nash by Oliver Goldsmith
Tom Wolfe: Liberal Apostate
Okay, this one is a lot easier to write up than yesterday’s on
Wolfe's conservative apostacy. There, he was attacking—or, as
I argued, just assuming away—one of the central tenets held by
American conservatives (as opposed to European traditionalists or
libertarians, which I suspect, Wolfe actually is). Wolfe, though, is
also a liberal apostate in that he attacks, with a ball-peen hammer,
certain positions held by establishment liberals. This, I
believe, accounts for the uniformly negative reviews he has
received. Although the reviewers won’t fault him for these
views per se, instead they assaulted him for delivering
yesterday’s news: Well, of course, frat boys drink lots of
beer and play quarters; college athletes are given preferential
treatment; and women are treated like disposable tissues.
What’s new here?
What’s new is that Wolfe is actually indignant over this state of
affairs and, like some kind of weird Old Testament prophet, or
perhaps, better stated, some kind of weird old Zeus-fearin’ stoic,
he has come down from the mountain to righteously smote him some
sinners . . . errr . . . Isis-cultists. His main attack is
upon the belief that men and women are fundamentally the same.
He instead argues that their differences in biology make them
different in every other kind of way, too. That’s pretty much
liberal heresy there. He then has the gall to set up one scene
after another where he shows the baleful consequences of having
women act like men: Charlotte’s roommate, Beverly, is forced to take
the “walk of shame” across campus the morning after hooking up; one
of the fratboys’ girlfriends, Nicole, has to sleep in another hotel
room while her supposed boyfriend has hooked up with a better offer,
Gloria; Charlotte herself is “sexiled” from her dormroom for one of
Beverly’s hook-ups; and, most notoriously, Charlotte decides to
drink like one of the guys and she suffers the dire results,
including grade-gutting depression. Well, that will pretty
much get you kicked off the liberal happy hunting grounds.
But Wolfe poaches still more game—he bags himself a bunch of radical
professors who continue to live in the Sixties in the form of
Professor Quat (who sacrifices his supposedly sacrosanct views
regarding academic integrity on the altar of political expediency)
and also wings a bevy of radical students who try to taunt the jocks
into racial taunts that can be used as grounds for expulsion in the
form of the foul-mouthed lesbian, Camille Deng (this old turn is
right out of the The Pickwick Papers where the lawyer,
Serjeant Buzfuz, tries to taunt Pickwick into libeling him). That’s
not all the game either, by a long shot. Wolfe makes fun of
gay pride day with the frat boys disrupting the proceeding by
walking through in khaki shorts (shades of P. G. Wodehouse’s Spode’s
black-shorts) and chanting: “God’s Yuccas.” He has a French
class—“Jacques for Jocks”—taught with French literary classics in
English translation. Even Charlotte’s country-bumpkin buddy
from State U., Laurie, gets into the act. Having also been
newly deflowered, she expounds upon how “diversity” is really
“dispersity” in college with the different racial groups having
their own dorms, dining halls, classes, majors, etc. And the
list goes on, and on, and on. There’s no rhyme or reason to these
attacks; Wolfe just lashes out willy-nilly as he speaks through
these various cardboard mouthpieces: Laurie, Camille, Beverly,
Gloria—Why bother naming them? The spotlight is always on our
white-clad prophet. He’s Jeremiah. He’s Amos. And
we all know what happens to fire-breathing prophets: Yep, they get
burned at the stake.
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Patrick: Lagniappe
To add to his honours, the corporation of Bath
placed a full length statue of him in Wiltshire’s Ball-room, between
the busts of Newton and Pope. It was upon this occasion that the
Earl of Chesterfield wrote that severe but witty epigram, the last
lines of which were so deservedly admired, and ran thus:
The statue placed the busts between,
Adds to the satire strength:
Wisdom and Wit are little seen,
But Folly at full length.
--The Life of Nash by Oliver Goldsmith
Tom Wolfe: Conservative Apostate
Tom Wolfe has no problem with God. And that’s his problem.
Tom Wolfe knows—knows in his bones—that God does not exist.
Further, given that he is an intelligent fellow, he knows that other
intelligent folks like him have naturally arrived at this same
conclusion. In other words, Tom Wolfe is the classic village
atheist. Now Wolfe has a nodding acquaintance with Nietzsche
and realizes that this is not the end of the story. If God
does not exist, then mankind is nothing more than a bunch of beasts
in a pit—or, in Wolfe’s colorful view from IACS, a nest of
spiders—constantly warring and fighting with one another; and, if
one beast tries to lift himself out of the pit, the rest will pull
him back down into the pullulating mass. So, how do you get
out of the pit?
Someone like Charlotte’s mother, a God-fearing Christian and member
of the local Church of Christ, would probably ask, “What would Jesus
do?” Well, that obviously won’t do for Wolfe. So, he
substitutes “WWJD” with “IACS.” Yep, whenever our poor Charlotte is
confronted with a moral dilemma she, more often than not (her fall
from grace in the bed of Hoyt Thorpe constituting a big NOT),
overcomes it by murmuring some variation of “I Am Charlotte
Simmons.” And, presto bango, she picks herself up, dusts
herself off (except when Hoyt, “knocks the dust off of her”) and
starts all over again. Folks, we just need to remember who we
are and where we came from, even if we sloughed off all that silly
God stuff, and we can overcome just about any modern problem.
A bit facile, no? Sounds like we have some unpacking to do.
The first concept to unpack is this idea that we can piggy-back on
the moral principles we grew up with even though we have long since
discarded them as a distasteful husk. Wolfe takes this
proposition for granted and does not bother to describe how
Charlotte has come to reject God and her mother’s religion—although
not her mother, Charlotte is still very much in fear and awe of her
(just not God). We know Charlotte has gone through this
process because she never thinks of God. As proof of this, we
find that even deep in the depths of depression she never reverts to
her childhood religion or reaches out for it as a ratty, comforting
blankie. But she has absorbed the underlying morality from it,
and that’s a good thing—“to have it stitched into her own clothes.”
That metaphor—“stitched into her own clothes”—Wolfe first used in an
essay in Hooking Up describing the founder of Intel, Robert
Noyce, who came from Grinnell, Iowa, founded by the
congregationalist minister, Josiah Grinnell. Noyce, like everyone
else in the small Midwestern town, grew up in the congregationalist
faith—his father was a minister. But as he grew older (and,
although unspoken, inferred: wiser) he shed his congregationalist
faith but not the morals and habits associated with it which were
still stitched into his own clothes: hard work, self-sufficiency,
wariness of authority, etc. In other words, Wolfe’s story is a
cornpone version of Max Weber’s exposition on the Protestant Work
Ethic. IACS continues this theme.
Certainly, Wolfe is correct that many smart kids shed their faith
but not the underlying moral framework. Although this does
create the Nietzsche problem that the next generation or so will
shed the underlying moral framework, too. But many smart kids
do not shed their faith. These folks simply do not exist to
Wolfe. He has a blind spot here that leads him to making
certain wrong headed assumptions about structuring IACS. The
big one, in my view, is that he can simply assume that a bright girl
like Charlotte would reject religion out of hand so there’s no
reason Wolfe needs to bother to describe the process for her doing
so. But here’s the paradox: If religion was part of
Charlotte Simmons, then discarding it means she is no longer “IACS.”
And that’s the next concept to unpack.
“IACS” is not much of a substitute for “WWJD” because “IACS”
presumes that the human personality is unchanging over time (just
like the unchanging, everlasting nature of God). This is a
concept that was exposed and rejected at least as far back as the
Eighteenth Century with Diderot’s Rameau’s Nephew where
Diderot has the nephew depicted as existing in two, contradictory
voices—I believe it was Barthes that expanded on this concept of the
contingent, fluid nature of personality which, at any one time, is
beset by conflicting impulses, emotions, and whatnot. Further,
just as we can not step into the same river twice, this means that
we are not the same person that we were ten years ago or ten years
hence—that’s a theme underlying many of Joyce Carol Oate’s short
stories in her collection, Marriages and Infidelities.
Indeed, this theme covers modern literature like a bad rash.
But we still have the village atheist trumpeting the salvation of “IACS.”
Of course, “IACS” is a better banner to fight under than the
moth-eaten one of the stoics unfurled in Wolfe’s last book, A Man
in Full. This exercise in Back to Paganism, has the
protagonist, Charlie Croker, suffer from classical hubris in his
overreaching ambition to build a gigantic skyscraper on the
outskirts of Atlanta, which, when completed, proves to be his
nemesis and downfall as it drains him of his financial resources.
Croker, broken, is born again through the texts of the stoic,
Epictetus, into a new-age stoic who goes forth to preach the Good
News of Zeus—Zeus News, I guess. Okaaay, Wolfe sit down here
and have a nice warm cup of chamomile tea, it will be alright soon.
After a few sips, maybe Wolfe saw that Zeus isn’t quite the answer
so he set to noodling and came up with “IACS.”
“IACS” represents strike two for Wolfe on the religion front, as
discussed above. He needs to sit down and grapple with
religion itself. He can’t just act like it no longer exists.
I think, though, that this attitude is so ingrained into him, that
it might not be possible for him to work through this puzzle. In
IACS, he has one of the minor characters, Professor Quat, a radical
jewish history professor, use “Jesus Christ,” as an expletive.
Wolfe sardonically notes that it seems that only middle-aged jewish
intellectuals use such expletives nowadays as a way to denigrate
Christianity, but students never use it in their more colorful
discourse. Why is that? The premise is left unspoken, but we
are meant to infer that Jesus Christ is simply irrelevant to today’s
bright young things whose pretty heads can’t be bothered by such
metaphysical nonsense. orry, Wolfe, that’s too facile a short
cut.
The great novelists realize that there are no short cuts.
Dostoevsky squared his shoulders and jumped right into the muddy
mess of Christian metaphysics. Wolfe could learn from him. He
has two paths before him, neither one of which is easy: He can
follow Dostoevsky into the wilds of Christianity which I believe
Wolfe physically can’t do—just like he can’t take cyanide. Or, he
can follow the path laid out by Nietzsche. I can’t think of a
great novelist who has fully explored the ramifications of this
philosopher, certainly not at a level of a Dostoevsky.
Nietzsche predicted that, following the death of God, the Twentieth
Century would be rent by the wars of bloody, primeval brotherhoods
as men sought some spiritual replacement for God. But, in the
next century, mankind would come to realize that even such
brotherhoods have no moral or spiritual grounding, so that mankind
will instead individually war against one another--like a bunch of
spiders--as each seeks to maximize his own power. That strikes
me as a theme Wolfe might be able to play.
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Patrick: Lagniappe
His way was, when any person was proposed to
him as an object of charity, to go round with his hat, first among
the nobility, according to their rank, and so on, till he left
scarce a single person unsolicited. They who go thus about to beg
for others, generally find a pleasure in the task. They consider, in
some measure, every benefaction they procure as given by themselves,
and have at once the pleasure of being liberal without the self
reproach of being profuse.
--The Life of Nash by Oliver Goldsmith
I Am Charlotte Simmons: The Male Beast Taxonomy
Well, I finished off Tom Wolfe’s I Am Charlotte Simmons (“IACS”)
and, as one might surmise from my prior posts on this book, was duly
impressed by it. Impressed, but not flabbergasted, enraptured,
intoxicated or transfigured. Wolfe has crafted a well wrought
novel concerning the ins and outs of a modern university and its
inhabitants which I believe is well worth reading if one is
interested in the American tradition of using the novel to exemplify
and explain American culture and mores as practiced by writers such
as John Steinbeck, Sinclair Lewis, Dos Passos and John O’Hara (these
writers constitute what I would call the back half of the first
tier). Wolfe’s title character, Charlotte Simmons, serves, in
large part as a “peri” in the Nabokovian sense—that is, she is a
walking periscope that observes the goings on at Dupont University,
a fictional creation meant to embody one of the top Universities in
America, to be mentioned in the same breath as Harvard or Yale
[N.B.: Nabokov, in discussing Dickens, noted that certain of his
characters went from place to place and did this or that in order to
illuminate aspects of the world that Dickens had created and wished
us to observe—much like a periscope]. In this post, I’ll
sketch out the major theme of the book and then spend subsequent
posts discussing other bits and pieces I found interesting.
The book begins in the small town (1400 pop.) of Sparta, North
Carolina with Charlotte giving her high-school valedictorian
address, followed by a franks ‘n’ burgers get together at her
parents’ house. This vignette is meant to differentiate the
manners and mores of the “mountain man” culture of this tiny town
with the others forms of masculinity prevalent at Dupont University.
The ultimate “mountain man” is Charlotte’s father who confronts some
high-school hooligans intent on crashing Charlotte’s party and
forces them to scamper off with their tails between their legs
(almost literally—Wolf is obsessed with viewing mankind as simply
another form of animal; in my opinion, the great flaw in this work).
With the local grungy mutts vanquished,
Charlotte then heads off to Pennsylvania where she meets three very
different types of masculine animals.
The three types she meets serve as the motive force, in large part,
for unfolding the plot of the novel: Each type seeks to conquer
Charlotte in its own way—which typically means taking from Charlotte
her virginity. Charlotte, in turn, seeks to conquer these
beasts through her femininity; and, although, she does lose her
virginity, her femininity is so strong that it is able, in the last
few pages of the book, to conquer the strongest beast of them all.
So, what are these three beasts, the contenders for Charlotte in the
Darwinian battle of the sexes?
The first, Hoyt Thorpe, is a good looking senior frat boy (described
as a cross between Hugh Grant and Cary Grant) who uses all of his
wiles to take Charlotte’s virginity from her—okay, maybe he’s not so
wily, he gets her drunk at a Washington, D. C. frat party held at
the Grand Hyatt and has his way with her. Still, Wolfe wants
you to appreciate his predatory instincts—indeed, Wolfe has a
rueful, wiser Charlotte characterize him as a “cougar” which does
what it does (preys on hapless women) because that’s the way it is
made—sort of like Aesop’s fable of the scorpion and the turtle.
As his emphasized over and over again, Thorpe uses his good looks
and charming manner to convince his prey that he is in love with her
and that he is interested only in her, no one else—at least for the
next seven minutes. Then he pounces, which resulted in Wolfe
being awarded the bad sex award. Again, as I argued earlier
this is unfair because the sex is meant to be very bad sex indeed.
It’s sort of like giving the bad sex award to Michel Houellebecq.
Wolfe actually refers to Houellebecq in IACS—talk about critics
having no clue. Further, the one book of Zola’s which Wolfe
mentions in IACS is The Human Beast, another book that argues
man is just a grunting beast, particularly when he is having sex
[N.B.: by the bye, The Human Beast is a great read—although I am not
sure there’s been a modern translation]. Ding! Ding! Ding!
Ding! Can Wolfe be any more blunt about where he is going?
Does he need to hit you over the head with a ball-peen hammer?
Apparently, yes, because none of the critical reviews picked up on
these, in my view, awfully heavy-handed clues.
Enough of the Cougar, let’s go to the jackal: Adam Gellin.
He’s a poor, nerdy intellectual who writes for the school newspaper
while holding down two jobs. His great stigma: he’s a senior and
still a virgin—but not by choice. He recognizes that he is a
lower order of man from the dominants. Wolfe, indeed, divides
men up into two categories: those who won’t take guff from anyone
and will fight to maintain that reputation and those who know
they’ll take guff and so will avoid any situation where they are
forced to take it. Adam, of course, falls in the second
category. Late in the book it appears that he will be
suspended from campus and all of his aspirations crushed. How
does he respond? By breaking down into a near-catatonic state
and having to be ministered by Charlotte as if he’s a shell-shock
victim in a mental ward. Clearly, Wolfe has little but
contempt for this character. Thorpe might be a predator, but
he is also given the grace and beauty of a carnivore, too.
There’s no grace for Adam.
Grace abides, however, for our last male, our lion: Jojo. Go!
Go! Jojo Johannsen—is a six-foot, ten-inch monster power forward who
plays basketball for the NCAA championship Dupont basketball team.
He is literally the BMOC, the only white starter on the team who has
women come up and throw themselves at him so that they can brag that
they were with a “star.” Of course, what does one expect if
the gazelle lay themselves down at the feet of the lion? So Jojo has
a lot of red-meat feasting in this book. But, when he is
confronted by Charlotte, who not only does not lie down at his feet
but cuffs his jaws, the lion pulls back in bewilderment, falls under
her feminine spell and learns to enjoy being the thrall of the lamb.
Indeed, such thralldom as Charlotte’s chaste boyfriend leads to
Jojo’s rejuvenation as he becomes the best player on the basketball
team. Wolfe can’t hit you over the head too hard for this
moral. And, of course, Charlotte lives happily ever after—at least
until the end of basketball season. You go, Charlotte!
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Kathryn: The Poisonwood Bible: Narrative
Voice
(For a quick summary of The Poisonwood
Bible, see my Jan. 3 entry.) Barbara Kingsolver uses five
narrators in The Poisonwood Bible: Orleanna, wife of the
hardheaded Baptist missionary; Rachel, eldest teenage daughter; Adah
and Leah, twin sisters of prodigious intellect; and (briefly) Ruth
May, the couple's youngest child.
Some of the voices are more successful than
others. We don't hear much from Ruth May, but she's a compelling
character. Orleanna seems real enough, human enough. Adah and Leah
are interesting to read but each somewhat contrived. Adah is a
silent prodigy, a wry girl who makes endless palindromes and uses
backward writing in her journals and who has an only vaguely
explained condition that keeps her from full use of her arms and
legs. Her twin sister Leah feels like the author's stand-in. She's
bright and brave and emotionally engaged in Africa's postcolonial
disruptions. Rachel is perhaps the novel's real weak point. She is
greedy, vain, opportunistic, and shallow: Leah's foil. We know
Rachel is bad news because she also mangles the English language, at
least one egregious malapropism per page, I'd guess. On the bright
side, Rachel does provide much of the novel's humor. Some of the
malapropisms are quite funny.
Next entry: More on the narrative voices in TPB.
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Patrick: Lagniappe
In general, the benefactions of a generous man
are but ill bestowed. His heart seldom gives him leave to examine
the real distress of the object which sues for pity; his good-nature
takes the alarm too soon, and he bestows his fortune on only
apparent wretchedness. The man naturally frugal, on the other hand,
seldom relieves, but when he does, his reason and not his sensations
generally find out the object. Every instance of his bounty is
therefore permanent, and bears witness to his benevolence.
--The Life of Nash by Oliver Goldsmith
The Life of Richard Nash: The Eccentric
Eighteenth-Century Biography
The Lagniappe for the last few days has consisted of excerpts
from Oliver Goldsmith’s The Life of Richard Nash, a biography
of sorts concerning the “Late Master of the Ceremonies at Bath.”
What makes this biography unusual is its curiously gentle “warts and
all” approach (indeed, on the title page appears the opening words
of a sentence from Horace’s Art of Poetry which might be
translated as: “I will not take offence at a few blemishes against
which human nature has failed to be on its guard”) to a fairly seedy
provincial gambler and figure of amusement who lived in Bath during
its early days of evolving from a sleepy Thomas Hardy farm town into
a pleasure dome for Britain’s leisured classes. An analogue, I
guess, would be the biography of the recreation director out on
Miami Beach in the ‘50s just as that area started to take off as
written by David Foster Wallace. This idea strikes me as being
decent material for a light-hearted comic novel—and so it struck
Goldsmith.
Goldsmith wrote only one biography—actually, that “only one” can be
said about a number of Goldsmith’s endeavors, given his early death:
He wrote one novel, The Vicar of Wakefield and one play,
She Stoops to Conquer. The biography starts with the
conceit that “[h]istory owes its excellence more to the writer’s
manner than the materials of which it is composed.” Goldsmith
then sets out as a proof of his axiom, his life of this obscure
personage, Richard Nash, who would have long ago disappeared beneath
Lethe’s murmuring waters. It is full of amusing incident and
colorful characterization, but it also makes clear just how mundane
and inconsequential a manikin was Mr. Nash.
I will concede there’s some truth to Goldsmith’s axiom. The
great biographies owe as much to the prose of the biographer as to
the life of the subject. I am thinking here of Lytton Strachey’s
Eminent Victorians and Queen Victoria. Strachey is the
Twentieth Century analogue to Goldsmith here—although Strachey’s dry
witticism often slides into the muddy ditch of sarcasm and cynicism,
while Goldsmith is always able to stay on the firm, dry irony road
(I would add that Strachey avoids this temptation with his wonderful
Queen Victoria which is, in my decidedly minority opinion,
his true masterstroke).
As a more general consideration, setting the considerations of wit
and irony aside, I can think of numerous examples where the
biographer has created a fine work of art separate from the life
itself: Lytton Strachey by Michael Holroyd; Virginia Woolf
by Hermione Lee; Madame de Pompadour by Nancy Mitford (her
Frederick the Great and King Louis XIV are entertaining,
too); Portrait of a Marriage: Vita Sackville-West and Harold
Nicolson by Nigel Nicolson; and Dickens: Private Life and
Public Passions by Peter Ackroyd. Some might argue for the
inclusion of any odd number of semi-biographical works by Julian
Barnes such as Flaubert’s Parrot. This is a bit of a bog
topic, so I think I’ll stop here before sinking further.
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Patrick: Lagniappe
After the family is thus welcomed to Bath, it
is the custom for the master of it to go to the public places and
subscribe two guineas at the assembly-houses towards the balls and
music in the pump-house, for which he is entitled to three tickets
every ball night. His next subscription is a crown, half a guinea,
or a guinea, according to his rank and quality, for the liberty of
walking in the private walks belonging to Simpson’s assembly-house;
a crown or half a guinea is also given to the booksellers, for which
the gentleman is to have what books he pleases to read at his
lodgings. And at the coffee-house another subscription is taken for
pen, ink and paper, for such letters as the subscriber shall write
at it during his stay. The ladies too may subscribe to the
booksellers, and to an house by the pump-room, for the advantage of
reading the news, and for enjoying each other’s conversation.
--The Life of Nash by Oliver Goldsmith
[N.B.: Now this is my idea of the perfect
spa vacation. Why can't they have bibliophile spas? They
seem to have one for everything else, as the NYT reported in its
vacation section this past Sunday titled,
"The Spa-ification of America." Won't somebody please
start one up? I'll be happy to get pampered and papered.]
Wolfe Pack Watch Part . . . I Dunno
Let’s see, the last shall be first and the first shall be last.
Well, the last of the big reviews has come in from the London Review
of Books; and I am happy to report that Tom Wolfe’s new novel, I
Am Charlotte Simmons, has achieved a perfect score—of zero. This
one is almost beside itself in gob-lobbing outrage. The best tag
line: “Charlotte Simmons resembles a very bad Oliver Stone film.”
Oh, and here’s the first paragraph, which, in terms of a nasty
introduction to a review has to rank up there with the all time
greats in terms of sheer bile production:
Tom Wolfe, is, in many ways, an outrageous figure—with his white
suit and cane, his glib social analyses, and his delusions of
grandeur. For three decades he has been saying that his minutely
researched books herald ‘a revolution’ in literature, which is bound
to ‘sweep the arts in America, making many prestigious artists . . .
appear effete and irrelevant’. Over the years, a lot of these effete
and irrelevant artists—John Updike, Norman Mailer, Jonathan Franzen—have
launched tirades against him. the most concise comes from John
Irving, commenting red-faced and furious on live TV: ‘Wolfe’s
problem is, he can’t bleeping write! He’s not a writer! Just
crack one of his bleeping books! Try reading one bleeping sentence!
You’ll gag before you can finish it! He doesn’t even write
literature—he writes . . . yak! He doesn’t write novels—he writes
journalistic hyperbole!’ These comments, graciously reported by
Wolfe himself, don’t seem entirely fair to me. They do, however,
perfectly describe his bloody awful new novel I am Charlotte
Simmons.
And there you have it. Do you think a more negative
introductory paragraph could be written? Actually, it makes
for an interesting parlor game. Here’s my shot:
Tom Wolfe, is, in many ways, a sad, sad, little man—with his white
straitjacket and jar of fleas, his rantings that he is Napoleon, and
his delusions of grandeur. For three decades he has been minutely
researching books of heraldry and the French Revolution proving
that, as Napoleon, he is bound to sweep over America and banish the
irrelevant artists. Over the years, these effete and irrelevant
artists have been driven to distraction and crazily exclaim: “You
are not a novelist! You are illiterate! You can’t write! You are not
Napoleon!” These comments, graciously reported by Wolfe himself,
don’t seem entirely fair to me. For instance, Wolfe is not
illiterate, he can interpret street signs and recognizes the
signature of Napoleon. They, do, however, perfectly describe his
bloody awful, puke inducing bucket of spittle, I Am Charlotte
Simmons.
Query: Why does Tom Wolfe cause critics
to lose it? Well, I am almost finished with I Am Charlotte
Simmons and it's probably his best book yet. And his most
courageous. It is that aspect which drives critics to
distraction as I'll discuss later.
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Patrick: Lagniappe
Let the morose and grave censure an attention
to forms and ceremonies, and rail at those whose only business it is
to regulate them; but tho’ ceremony is very different from
politeness, no country was ever yet polite, that was not first
ceremonious. The natural gradation of breeding begins in savage
disgust, proceeds to indifference, improves into attention, by
degrees refines into ceremonious observance, and the trouble of
being ceremonious at length produces politeness, elegance and ease.
There is therefore some merit in mending society, even in one of the
inferior steps of this gradation; and no man was more happy in this
respect than Mr. Nash.
--The Life of Nash by Oliver Goldsmith
A Dialogue of Mungo Jungo
A week or so ago I was singing the praises of John O’Hara—at least
with respect to his keen ear for dialogue and the way he put it down
on the page. Since O’Hara’s time, numerous authors have felt that
the old conventions for recording dialogue appeared stilted and
tended to break up the flow and rhythm of their prose. I would
argue that if one studied carefully a master like O’Hara, this sort
of concern should not come up. But come up it has, and
different authors try different ways to clean up the printed
page—other than the obvious one of becoming better craftsman and
spending more time on their dialogue than other parts of their prose
(as I mentioned earlier, some authors view dialogue as a throwaway
with the “heavy lifting” coming in with respect to their delicate
descriptions of this, that and the other; unfortunately for them,
the exact opposite is true-just look at any of the work of Norman
Mailer for what happens when an author neglects dialogue).
The British authors, as in much else, have been the most creative
here in the search for the holy grail of a “clean” presentation of
dialogue. Some have simply eliminated any and all punctuation
such as quotation marks and even signifiers such as “he said” and
“she said.” The result certainly is clean—and also frequently
unintelligible for the reader (sometimes this is done on purpose to
great effect such as Ronald Firbank's use of a babble of
unidentified voices to create the effect of being in a crowded room
or a cocktail party). It would seem obvious that if there are
multiple parties speaking and no indication exists for who is saying
what to whom, than confusion for the reader will result. Such
confusion means that a terminal breakdown in the “rhythm” of the
prose has occurred—maybe not for the author who knows who is saying
what to whom, but for everyone else. I submit that such a
consequence bodes ill for the longevity of the author.
Others have chosen a middle ground as represented by Charles McGrath
in Port Mungo. Here’s an example where the narrator,
Gin, starts by speaking ex cathedra and summarizing her brother
Jack’s conversation :
There were times the three of them coexisted more or less amicably,
but at other times the atmosphere was poisoned by Jack’s rage at
Vera’s relentless betrayal. It all depended.
--On what?
--My mood, said Jack. And what, Gin, he said—genuinely amused
now—did my mood depend on?
--The work?
--The work. Simple as that.
--And what happened, I said, after the physical thing stopped?
Okay, that’s enough to point out the problems with this method.
First, the quotation marks have been dropped in favor of a
streamlining, I suppose, of just using a long dash to indicate
dialogue and a new speaker. The trouble with that is
exemplified by the line starting with “My mood . . . .” There,
the author has to insert two rhythm-breaking “he said”s to make it
clear who is talking. Also, using the long dash to start the
dialogue nullifies the value of the long dash qua long dash
in the sentence itself and actually further breaks down the rhythm.
The reader, of course, is utterly confused and has to keep stopping
and starting to determine what is going on. I submit that any
device, such as this, which breaks the reader’s concentration—that
is, the spell the author has cast upon him—and forces the reader to
pay attention to the actual mechanics of the author’s writing is a
failed device. It fails because it ignores the commandment of
Saint George—Orwell, that is—that all prose should be as transparent
as the glass in a window pane. In other words, it should not
distract. As they say around the witches’ cauldron: “The spell
must go on!”
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Kathryn: The Poisonwood Bible
Some time ago, a reader wrote in to ask if I'd
blog on The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver. I
finished it last week.
So, lessee, it's a novel about the family of a
hardheaded Baptist missionary who all go to the Belgian Congo in
1959; it is told from the points of view of the missionary's wife,
Orleanna, and their four daughters. The family more or less
self-destructs as the country, toward the end of its struggle for
independence, elects a leader (Patrice Lumumba) who is soon murdered
and replaced in a CIA-backed coup by Mobutu (later known to the
world as Mobutu Sese Seko). Here's a link to the official web site
of the Permanent Mission
of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, BTW, in case you'd like
to read their page on the history of the DRC.
Anyway, I found it a very compelling read. Good
momentum, especially for a book so obviously high-minded. The
novelist tackles her postcolonial topic without being merely
edifying, edifying though she is.
Next time: narrative voice in TPB.
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Patrick: NYT Tasty Bits
Perusing this Sunday's
NYT, I found myself
ruminating on a few odds and ends that I thought I would share with
you:
--The Arts Section has a
profile on the
minimalist artist, Dan Flavin, who constructed his "pieces" from
manufactured ready-made fluorescent light bulbs. Flavin was a
founder of minimalism--some would argue the founder of
minimalism. What is it you might ask? Think of an
iceberg, where 90% of its bulk is underwater and only the frosty tip
peaks out from the surface. Well, that's minimalism. The
little tip you can see is the physical artwork--shiny, chrome boxes,
shiny fluorescent bulbs, shiny . . . well, you get the idea--the
rest is the concept, the theory, supporting the work. Sure,
that might just look like fluorescent tubes you could buy at
Wal-Mart. Indeed, you can buy them at Wal-Mart (well, not
exactly, I'll get to that later). And when you turn them on in
a dark room they do cast a purty glow--purty like those '70s
glow-in-the-dark posters. But that's not the bulk of it.
The bulk is that those lights will burn out; the art is merely
temporary. Plus it can be turned off. Plus it can be
created by anyone, not just the artist. Savor those
contradictions. Those deep thoughts. Those ad
nauseums. Now you might be saying to yourself,
"Interesting, but juvenile." Yep, but that's the modern art
world for you.
What makes this poignant, one might even say,
ironic (if I can use a juvenile catch-concept), is that the art
world has a very practical problem with Flavins. If you can
buy them at Wal-Mart and make them yourself, one of Flavin's
conceits, after all, how do you know that the Flavin being sold at
auction is a real Flavin? Actually, if Flavin was honest and
not a charlatan, he who would have said that this point was
irrelevant--indeed, give the temporary, effervescent nature of art
itself (Flavin: "One has no choice but to accept the fact of
temporary art"), there shouldn't be anything as vulgar as an
after-market for Flavins. But there is. So what do you
think is the most valuable part of that iceberg? It's a trick
question because I didn't describe the entire iceberg. Well,
no point in keeping you in suspense: It's the certificate!
That's right, each Flavin sold came with a
certificate of authenticity. Flavin himself realized that this
kinda gave his scheme . . . errr . . . conceptual framework away, so
he remarked, "I used to do my certificates on pulp paper because
therefore I knew they would disintegrate." Oh ho, that's rich.
Where's Sir Toby Belch when you need him. Well, the collectors
have a solution for that little road block (if Flavin was
honest, he would not have issued any certificates at all; as the NYT
notes, the value of the artwork lies wholly in the certificate;
Christie's won't auction a Flavin without one). The collectors
make sure to preserve the certificates. This is my favorite
part of the article: "Mr. Margulies has framed his two
certificates and made them available for visitors in his library.
When asked if he, too, displayed his Flavin certificate, the New
York lawyer expressed shock: 'I couldn't do that, I'm too
paranoid. I guard that thing with my life'" Are you
thinking what I'm thinking? contrary to what I just wrote
yesterday, this is the raw material for a great comic novel.
Tom Wolfe, I've found your next project (oops, too late, you've
already written The Painted Word).
Okay, so the certificate is the most important
part--just as I argued last month that the most important part of
any work in a museum is its title card. But what do you do
when one of the dad-burned fluorescent lights burn out? Well,
according to Flavin--what with his mouthings about the inherent
temporary nature of art and all--the work should just go dark and
die. Isn't that the bottom part of the iceberg after all?
Nope. Here's where the farce gets even better. When a
light burned out (the average bulb lasts about 2100 hours), people
would take their certificate to Flavin for a replacement bulb.
The article doesn't say whether Flavin charged people for the new
bulb, but it would be richly ironic if he did. Think about it.
Flavin has created the perfect monopoly market that never expires
under copyright, patent, or any other type of intellectual property
law. Unlike, say a drug company, which comes up with some new
drug, some new male potency pill for example, like Prongium or
Stiffex, which it can flog exclusively for a few years, Flavin, and
now, his estate, can sell replacement bulbs it bought up at Wal-Mart
for some astronomical mark-up; and it can do this for eternity
(well, it's not quite that easy, as explained in the article,
sometimes a manufacturer like Sylvania will discontinue a particular
color like green, and then Flavin's elves must scour the country
buying up the remainders). Wait, doesn't all art die and is
merely temporary? NO! Flavin's genius was to create the
first examples of eternal art. His art never dies because all
of the parts can be replaced ad infinitum. See the
beauty of the scam. And he does this while claiming this his
art is the most fleeting yet. How rich. How novel.
How novelistic.
--The NYTBR has a good example this week of how
to write a favorable
review of a transparently bad book. The
review is of Larry McMurtry's latest flaccid offering, Loop Group
which is described on the front page of NYTBR as being about "[m]iddle-aged
women who used to be bad girls cruise Hollywood Boulevard."
Oh, and what to the editors of NYTBR constitutes "middle-aged"?
Try over 60, which is the age of all of these gouty gamines out for
a bit of tumescent tail. Let's see, middle-aged 60-year olds,
hmmm, that means they'll live to be 120. Memo to editors of
the NYTBR: I know you think that you baby-boomers are immune
from the effects of death and aging just as, seemingly, you have
been immune to responsibility and maturity. But not even
stem-cell research will save you from death's randy embrace.
He's the ultimate elderly lothario, death always scores even with baby
boomers. Sorry, I had to get that off my chest--and I take a
perverse delight in reminding the Peter Pan generation that the
crocodile with the ticking clock is coming up behind them. Rather
quickly, too, I might add.
Speaking of aging crocodiles, let's get back to
McMurtry who is not a baby-boomer, but even older. He
has probably just entered his middle age at 70 (snicker, giggle).
So, to him, grannies in their sixties are HOT! Oh, how
embarrassing. He and John Updike should get together and swap
swinging sexagenarian stories.
By the bye, McMurtry is a good example of bad
karma coming back to haunt you. He made his start trashing an
icon, a regionalist Texas writer named J. Frank Dobie (what, you
never heard of him? You can thank McMurtry for that) who had a
bevvy of fierce admirers that liked him for non-literary qualities,
as it turned out. McMurtry had the bad manners to point this
out. So, guess what McMurtry, you've got the same feet of
clay. Please feel free to JFD Mr. McMurtry.
--Note to writers: The NYTBR likes to
tempt writers to scribble a short
"autobiographical/whimsical/meandering" piece for big bucks.
Resist the temptation. Cynthia Ozick gives in and the
results
are not pretty. Although she offers a disclaimer, she refers
to herself throughout the piece as Author. Oh dear. Then
she immediately jumps in--as the all-wise Author--and makes catty
remarks about other authors. Her piece is ostensibly about her
first book tour which she decides to do because, "[w]hat, after all,
have silence and exile ever done for Author but get her scorned as
midlist, damned as a writer's writer, omitted between 'Oates' and 'Paley'
on Barnes & Nobles shelves?" This is particularly nasty,
grouping a great talent like Oates, with a non-entity like Paley,
and denigrating both as neither being a "writer's writer" like
Author. If one needed proof that Author's omission, not just
from Barnes & Nobles shelves, but from posterity itself, will be
entirely justified, look no farther than this unintentionally
hilarious exercise in self-importance, egomania and
snobbishness--indeed, what makes this essay so delicious is
that the author, err, excuse me, Author, is trying to be
self-deprecatingly funny but she can't stop from lapsing into her
own muddle puddle of self-esteem (and it's esteemin' hot, too).
Author! Author!
Okay, here's a few choice bits (Ozick missed
her calling, she could have been the next Waugh):
"Metaphysically speaking, tour has begun,
though Author, like George Eliot welcoming Henry James to her Sunday
afternoon salon, will receive at home."
"Call from fervent young journalist from Texas.
Texas! Texas has heard of Author's new book! Author is
impressed to feel important."
"Fabled hall, fabled stage. Here
legendary ghosts hover, masters of the age, majesties ho once read
before besotted crowds . . . . Only imagine, tonight Author
will stand on hallowed stage in hallowed auditorium! But wait,
not just yet: she will take her turn following celebrated novelist.
Celebrated novelist reads sublimely. Massive applause!"
[N.B.: Ahhh, so we have the term "Author" in order to avoid
identifying "celebrated novelist," and later, "Internationally
Famous Foreign Writer," abbreviated to "I.F.F.W." I lost at
least two ribs on this tickler. The sublime comic and yet,
snobbish--perhaps a new creature: the snobic.]
"In renowned book store, princely introduction
by eloquent writer Howard Norman." [N.B.: What, an
author's name is mentioned by Author and not in a condescending
light? A relation perhaps? Or maybe he cooks a mean
turbot.]
"Ubiquitous Boston high culture! Even
limo driver is poet, declaims stanzas lamenting societal rot.
Ferrying author to Booksmiths, driver also turns out to be
metaphysician, discourses ontologically." [N.B.: I think
this nauseating interlude might best be described as "High Snobic."]
"Professor of philosophy from leading local
university asks Author to recapitulate three-decades-old exchange
with Norman Mailer during public feminist fight. Author
obliges, is compelled by exactitude of historical narrative to dwell
on male anatomical parts. Laughter. More laughter.
Hilarity. Author is shocked: she is comic success!
Author remembers short story by Somerset Maugham wherein naive dull
humorless woman becomes known as salon wit only because she speaks
truth. Author is inspired! Henceforth, for remainder of
tour, Author will stop making things up."
Bingo--nothing like a self-indictment from
Author. Author also manages to describe her place in history:
Not between Oates and Paley, she should be so lucky, but Mailer and
Maugham. She probably today would find that a compliment.
Just wait.
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Patrick: Lagniappe
History owes its excellence more to the
writer’s manner than the materials of which it is composed. The
intrigues of courts or the devastation of armies are regarded by the
remote spectator with as little attention as the squabbles of a
village or the fate of a malefactor that fall under his own
observation. The great and the little, as they have the same senses
and the same affections, generally present the same picture to the
hand of the draughtsman; and whether the heroe or the clown be the
subject of the memoir, it is only man that appears with all his
native minuteness about him; for nothing very great was ever yet
formed from the little materials of humanity.
--The Life of Nash by Oliver Goldsmith
Mungo Jungo and the Death of the Critic
One of the books I received for Christmas
[N.B.: I always ask for books for Christmas from a wish list; by the
time I get them I am pleasantly surprised because I invariably have
forgotten what I asked for], Port Mungo by Patrick McGrath, I
requested for a couple of reasons: (1) McGrath is considered
as the foremost practitioner of modern Gothic (unless one wants to
count Joyce Carol Oates--which one might); and (2) this book was
savaged by the critics for McGrath's mortal sin of using baroque
language. Criticizing McGrath, a Gothic writer, for using
baroque language is like criticizing Isaac Bashevis Singer for using
ethnic characters. So, of course, I snatched up and devoured
Port Mungo.
And you know what, the critics were right!
Their criticism was misplaced--the language itself struck me as
being purposely toned down--but the conclusion was on target.
The book, at a mere 242 pages, was painful to slog through, like the
seedy Caribbean city of Port Mongo itself. But not for the
reasons given by the critics. And this is my complaint for
today because it is clear that the critics could not have read the
book with the kind of close attention one would expect of someone
paid to say stuff about books that they supposedly read.
The problem with this book is the same as the
problem with the critics: sloth. McGrath's book [N.B.:
this is probably the last time I will give a warning that when ever
I'm talking about a book, I will likely give away plot points simply
because I do not see plot as a magic talisman that apparently others
do--so quit reading if for some bizarre reason you are planning on
picking up Port Mongo] is a bulked up short story:
Painter seduces elder daughter and then talks her into killing
herself, which results, years later, in the younger daughter talking
the painter into killing himself ala Rothko. Yes, that
probably sounds interesting, and in 25 pages it probably would be,
but not for 242 pages. Even worse, the narrator is the
painter's spinster sister who lives in Manhattan and is supported by
a legacy from their father. In other words, she knows nothing
about nothing, so McGrath doesn't have to do any heavy lifting.
He doesn't need to tell you much about Port Mungo, because the
spinster does not know much about that. Heck, he doesn't even
have to tell you much about painting because she doesn't know much
about that, either.
Talk about lazy--typically, writing about
painters is a near certain sign of authorial laziness (the sure sign
is writing about a writer) since art has become so corrupted that
there's not much skill or craft one needs to learn to talk about it.
Indeed, Updike's fictional account of Pollock is probably the best
recent example of a book about an artist that actually required
extensive research--and it still stunk. So, writers, avoid as
subjects writers and artists (don't feel discouraged, though, if you
fall into this trap, Henry James wrote about writers--although,
admittedly, as protagonists in short stories--and an artist, a
sculptor, in his second book, Roderick Hudson; he has the
excuse of youth, though).
So what does this have to do with the sloth of
critics? Well, the reasons for why this book is so bad are not
detectable if the book is merely skimmed and not read. A
beefed up short story won't be noticeable by skimming. Indeed,
the book probably reads better that way. Also, all the filler
to cover up the fact that the lazy author failed to do any hard work
also can be forgiven when the book is merely skimmed. The
critics, though, didn't comment on this but on the nonexistent
reason that the language was too Gothicy. In other words, they
skimmed the book because they didn't want to read a Gothic work in
the first place and were dead set on condemning it for that reason.
And here's the nub of my problem with modern criticism.
I have said before that the main problem with
modern criticism is a sin of omission--one simply ignores good work
or condemns it out of hand (I am currently reading Wolfe's I Am
Charlotte Simmons and my sweaty labor in defense of that
maligned work is coming soon). But they can't even condemn a
bad work properly so I am juked into stepping left and right trying
to stay one step ahead of a critic who doesn't even know what he's
doing--so I wind up faking out myself. If the critics had
condemned Port Mungo properly, I wouldn't have bothered with
it. At least you have been spared sitting down with
it--although I will say in its defense that McGrath is a very good
technical writer, and if he just had something worth saying, would
be a joy to read. Better luck next time McGrath, hopefully
you'll get off your lazy butt and write something worth reading next
time--being a big fan of Gothic, I'll be looking forward to it.
But for the critics, I can't even say, "Fool me once, shame on you .
. .," just quit being lazy and at least read the book you are
criticizing.
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